


Dust And Gold

by CFD-51-81-3-61 (ImagineBeingSafe)



Series: Unsteady [1]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:27:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24728221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineBeingSafe/pseuds/CFD-51-81-3-61
Summary: The first loss is Andy.{ if you don't count her dad and mom, but how can you lose what you don't really have?} It's not the last. Life isn't fair. but with love, and family, Arianna Severide lives.
Relationships: Matthew Casey/Gabriela Dawson, Stella Kidd/Kelly Severide
Series: Unsteady [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1787992
Kudos: 7





	Dust And Gold

The first big change Ariana Severide can remember clearly is losing Andy.

She's no longer anyone's Lil' Bit. No longer runs pell-mell with the Darden Boys.

Kelly gets quiet. Or angry. With Matt. With the whole world, it seems like.

It's scary.

And Ari thought she knew scary.

But this is new.

She was mad too.

Andy should have known better. He was so stupid, going in before Kelly made it safe.

And. And Matt shoulda stopped him, too.

It was just stupid, and now, no more Andy.

**_So stupid!_ **

She'd smashed things in her room, that stupid plastic fire hat that all kids who visited 51 got.

Ripped up her old firefighter jacket from Halloween. Smashed the picture frame of her and Andy and Kelly in front of the squad truck.

Her stomach still hurt when she thought about it and she'd hidden them in her closet.

Her stomach hurt a lot these days.

But she was remarkably healthy, for the one who always caught every bug, the girl who wheezed at the thought of dust and mold.

The girl who was small for her age, at eight.

++++++

At the little café Kelly treated her at most Saturdays, they run into Heather.

She blames Kelly for Andy, herds Ben and Griffin away.

And that ruins it.

She nibbles bits of the poppy seed muffin Kelly got her.

when she's stressed-

-And she is, she _Hates_ arguing, her mom and Bennie were at each others throats for as long as she could remember-

-She can't eat.

When Kelly gets restless, she throws it out with the rest of her hot cocoa.

  
He doesn't notice.

It was Saturday and Ari was at 51. that was the shift she usually stayed over, sleeping in a spare bunk and staying out of the way when the bells rung.

She'd been practically raised there. And knew the drill.

It was summer, and the bunk room was the coolest part of the firehouse, and hot and muggy always messed with her asthma

But she wanted to be with her 51 family. Mostly a good thing, but she goes out and Kelly and Matt are yelling, again.

Blaming. Stupid. _So stupid._

Andy's _gone_ an' it _sucks_ ,

They need to stop before one of them does something dumb.

_Before they're gone too…._

Her chest hurts.

She's tired of the fighting.

Kelly turns away from Matt and sees Ari walking at the end of the drive.

Well, _shit._ She must have seen them at it again.

He knows heat is not Ari's friend.

He walks out to her.

She doesn't even need to say anything, She just wraps an arm around her chest and scoots closer to Kelly, pressing into his side

He can hear the wheezing that he's known since she was six months old.

It's bad, bad really quick, and he's scooping her up, quietly chanting,

"Neb, Neb, Neb…"

As he walks into the dim of the house.

Ari coughs hard into his shoulder, rubs her nose into it, too.

She's teary and snotty, his poor kid.

"I've gotcha. It's all right. I've gotcha."

_Fuck asthma._

He sees Matt's face, worry filled, out of the corner of his eye.

_...No. Ari's all that counts_

_If he's worried, so what?_

++++++

Then it's the firefighters barbeque.

And Kelly's thoughts turn rough, and _Heather_ , and _Andy._

And then he sees Ari looking longingly at the Darden's,

At Matt's ease with the boys, at him throwing Ben over his shoulder and Griffin running after them.

He remembers last year.

How both Andy and Matt had made _Normal_ for Ari.

Ari's what counts.

His Kid. His Baby.

Ari had been since Bennie had handed over a wheezy bundle with eyes they shared-

-and walked out, Tori screaming, cursing the day she met him.

Then she left too, and they were alone.

_Them against the world. Shitty as it was._

"Hey, kiddo. They have spider man snow-cones. Want one?"

Distraction, sure. But they both needed it.

++++++

A few nights later.

Summer makes it bad, the cold makes it bad, Asthma is it's own war.

But tonight is bad. Bennie was meant to have her for a few nights.

He probably made whatever this worse, by exposing her to a crap hotel room.

But it's not just Asthma. She's got a fever, sore throat, can't sleep, can't do much of anything.

Her asking for Kelly made Bennie drop her like a hot coal.

Then she starts asking for Matt, and then the tears start.

++++++

Matt is not expecting Kelly's name to pop up on his phone.

But when he does pick up, it's not Kelly.

He hears him, in the background, but no.

It's Ari. She's a mess.

"No. Kels. no. my Matty, mine."

A strangled wheezy whimper that makes his heart crack like ice.

"Ari. Baby. Give the phone to Kelly."

A shuffling sound, then Kelly's voice

"Ari's crying for you," Kelly says. "She...I can't get her to stop crying, and I don't know what to do.

I can't- Bennie can't handle it. He split. Shay's not here, she'd distract Ari, get her smiling, hell, even laughing.

I don't- the stuff between us, that's us. She wants you. Help. Please."

"Of course. I'm on my way."

He gets to the apartment, bag of goodies for a sick kid in tow.

He'd drop any thing for that girl, she's family.

Kelly hands her over, grabs one of Ari's sick blankets, wraps it around Ari, helping her settle into Matt's chest.

"I'll set the Neb up. She's got a tight hold on you.”

Matt shakes his arm free and wraps it around Ari, helping her settle into his chest.

"Yeah. Thanks."

Matt rests his head on the top of Ari's head and murmurs.

"It's okay, baby, it's okay."

"Mat'y"

"Shh. Shh. _Shhh_. It's okay, I gotcha. I know. It's rough."

"Kels?"

He tosses himself on the couch.

"Yeah, baby, right here."

She dozes off after the nebulizer, and Matt accepts the beer and leftover pizza he's offered.

Time to mend bridges.

No fight is worth hurting the kid that brings sunshine into their lives.

++++++

A giggling Ari sits at the table, as Dawson feeds Ari some of her grandmother's mac & cheese, Ari opening her mouth for her share like a baby bird.

"Last bite, Mi querida"

Dawson finishes with kisses, on the cheek and of the Eskimo variety, eliciting more giggles

"Why does she get extras?" Peter Mills complains half heartedly.

"You, Peter Mills, have to earn it. Besides, Ari's family. And I need to feed her up, she's still too small."

Shay pulls Ari closer to her side.

"Girl, we need to fix those nails, go get your polish."

Ari hops in place and runs off to fetch her bag.

++++++

See, Severide knows his Kid's breathing. It's as good as the bells at waking him.

So he hears the endless cough, and is already moving before she can come get him.

Inhaler and spacer are by the bed, so if she woke and is that bad, Nebulizer time, because she knows how to use the damn thing.

Squeaky wheezing that smashes his heart a bit. A hand rubbing her chest.

"Okay, come on."

He scoops her up and they head down to the living room.

Shay joins them with a yawn, and a finger to Ari's mouth when she tries to say sorry.

Soon she starts playing with Ari's hair.

Kelly pulls the St. Florian medal from under his shirt.

Ari's fingers grasp it, gently. Old habit for them, as long as he's had the thing.

"Love you, kid. Go to sleep. I gotcha."


End file.
